I have a deep passion and commitment to the ongoing development of spiritually strong and emotionally healthy individuals, marriages, families, leaders and cultures, helping you achieve your God-designed and appointed destiny.
All in Marriage
Well can I just say…it’s middle age white women (as well as women of all ages, all over the world) who have suffered the pain of pornography and the dehumanization and objectification of women…women whose marriages have crumbled, who have been sexually assaulted and who have been dismissed as not being seen for their intelligence or contribution. Women who have been told they aren’t “perfect enough,” as they have been compared to images that aren’t even real.
I come from the belief (and experience) that friendships can be really, really good…or so troublesome that they make you want to hightail it to somewhere off the Appalachian Trail, completely off the grid, and live a life of total and complete solitude without TV, social media or Diet Dr. Pepper. It’s that’s serious.
I hadn’t asked myself what I wanted in life, my marriage, my pursuits, and as a woman in…well, maybe never. It seemed as if I had always piggy-backed on other people’s wants, needs and desires. As a good Christian wife and mother, isn’t that was I was supposed to do?
There I was again – too much to do and too little time to do it. Honestly, it seemed to be the story of my life these past months. You’d think with the kids grown and gone; I’d be getting more - not less - done. In the past it wasn’t a problem. I was practical a machine! Being someone with what seemed to be endless energy, each day would begin with a mental, or better yet, written list of all that needed to be accomplished. I always knew how much I could get done, almost down to the minute. I considered myself to a Time Management Master.
What is this source of conflict between frustration and exhaustion that happens when we attempt to muster with every bit of our strength, an offering to give to God that, by our standards, is both flawless and acceptable? Then when we fail (as we inevitably do), we spiral down the “Christian Shame Vortex”, giving up completely. “It’s useless. I just don’t have what it takes. I can’t get this thing right.”
When I walk…I walk fast. Not speed walker fast, but fast enough that some of my friends to refuse to walk with me. “Slow down!” they say. Really? What’s the use of walking, if you don’t walk fast? I mean, burning calories is the goal, right?
“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself – means to fight the hardest battle which
any human being can fight – and never stop fighting.”
Why do we do it? Why do we compare? We know it’s a black hole. It won’t help, nor will it solve any issues. In fact, it makes issues much larger and bigger than they already are! So why do we insist on carrying on this love affair with comparison?
The outcome of our willingly (and even knowingly) subjecting ourselves to everyone’s polished persona and comparing our lives with their pics (most of which have been altered or filtered), has resulted in nothing less than GRAND THEFT, stealing our confidence, self-respect, uniqueness, healthy body image, focus, and peace. For goodness sake, it’s even taken our money, as we’ve gone out and tried to purchase the life we’ve seen depicted on our phone screens!
Trust me – there’s a huge difference between “Get me a glass of water!" and “Would you please get me a glass of water?” The result of the latter being a glass of water; the result of the former being a death glance, possibly accompanied by afore-mentioned glass being thrown across the room (which may or may not have happened in our first year of marriage).
