When Time Management No Longer Works

There I was again – too much to do and too little time to do it.  Honestly, it seemed to be the story of my life these past months.  You’d think with the kids grown and gone; I’d be getting more - not less - done.  In the past it wasn’t a problem. I was practically a machine!  Being someone with what seemed to be endless energy, each day would begin with a mental, or better yet, written list of all that needed to be accomplished. I always knew how much I could get done, almost down to the minute. I considered myself to a Time Management Master.

But on this particular day, my normally inspiring  “To Do” list was no longer inspiring. It had become a heavy burden, frustration, and a clear sign of failure.  What in the past seemed a challenge, almost a game (“Let’s see if I can check off every line!”), had morphed into a blatant failure-tracker, reminding me that I just wasn’t as Bruce Almighty as I used to be.

What was the problem? Had I lost my drive?  Had my personality changed? Was apathy sneaking in?  Or was it something else?  Perhaps (as difficult as it was for me to admit), had my energy level changed due to (ugh, this is so hard for me to say) age?  Just typing this makes my palms sweat.

Coming face-to-face with this reality seemed beyond defeating, followed by an ensuing fear that if I admitted this ugly truth, all would be lost. I’d end up sedentary in the rocker on my front porch.  Wrinkles would deepen. Glasses would get thicker. The pounds would pile on. The healthier, vibrant me would be but a distant memory. I would be victim to giving up and giving in to a much older, slower version of myself, who couldn’t complete a to do list if she tried.

Then came that lightbulb, “Aha”, brilliant, life-changing, whatever-you-want-to-call-it moment when everything became clear.  I’d been looking this the wrong way! Diminished energy didn’t mean ineffectiveness or failure – but rather an opportunity to be smarter, wiser, more efficient…even more effective.  Diminished energy could actually create a better, higher-quality, more satisfying life – if I would quit fighting - and engage and participate in the process.

Time management was no longer effective.  I needed to be focusing on Energy Management!    How, when, where, and with whom would I spend the energy I have been given? What was important and necessary, and what needed to be let go?  How could I ensure that my most important relationships had encounters with the “real” and the “best” me, instead of handing them my left overs at the end of the day?  How much space did I need to make for rest, sleep, physical exercise, contemplation and recreation?  What activities had I continued to practice, regardless of the fact that what used to bring me life, that now brought me death in the form of fatigue, dissatisfaction and frustration? And finally, what did I need to let go and let die?

This major change (and trust me, it was major!) hasn’t been easy.  It’s forced me to come face-to-face with my fears, my frustrations, my limitations, and my pride.  I’ve had to say “no” to some people who I greatly care about.  I’ve had to embrace limitations.  Daily reminding myself that “I am not saying NO to you, but YES to me,” has been instrumental in making some difficult calls. Falling back on the truth that I am God’s child and He wants me to take care of me, has also been extremely important. 

Has it been worth it? Yes! It’s made me…a better version of me.  I’m more focused, less perplexed, clearer, more decisive, less guilt-ridden, and seriously less frustrated. I no longer set myself up for failure.. I now take time to celebrate the small victories, instead of being obsessed with the larger.  I’m enjoying the journey a bit more, instead of being seduced by the final destination. I’m less worried about making others happy.  I can’t do that.  Only God can.

Time Management?  Nope, nada, no longer works.  Energy Management, however, has released me to become freer, more joy-filled, and wiser – enabling me to love others, as well as myself, to a greater degree of effectiveness than ever before. It’s a win-win. And it works.

Here’s to you! May you use the energy God’s given you to love Him, yourself and others in a way that makes a grand difference. Enjoy!