I have a deep passion and commitment to the ongoing development of spiritually strong and emotionally healthy individuals, marriages, families, leaders and cultures, helping you achieve your God-designed and appointed destiny.
All in Disability
I hadn’t asked myself what I wanted in life, my marriage, my pursuits, and as a woman in…well, maybe never. It seemed as if I had always piggy-backed on other people’s wants, needs and desires. As a good Christian wife and mother, isn’t that was I was supposed to do?
“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself – means to fight the hardest battle which
any human being can fight – and never stop fighting.”
The outcome of our willingly (and even knowingly) subjecting ourselves to everyone’s polished persona and comparing our lives with their pics (most of which have been altered or filtered), has resulted in nothing less than GRAND THEFT, stealing our confidence, self-respect, uniqueness, healthy body image, focus, and peace. For goodness sake, it’s even taken our money, as we’ve gone out and tried to purchase the life we’ve seen depicted on our phone screens!
Trust me – there’s a huge difference between “Get me a glass of water!" and “Would you please get me a glass of water?” The result of the latter being a glass of water; the result of the former being a death glance, possibly accompanied by afore-mentioned glass being thrown across the room (which may or may not have happened in our first year of marriage).
Have you ever experienced someone explaining a miraculous occurrence in their life, boldly proclaiming that it could be nothing other than the result of the power of Jesus Christ…and you doubt. Big time. Possibly even internally scrutinize the accuracy of their claim?
“I’ve lost my ability to dream. You know, not nighttime dreams, but dreams from God. I don’t know how to do it anymore,” I said, surprising myself. Thinking back, I honestly couldn’t remember when this draught of hope and passion began.
In the midst of some pretty serious life circumstances this week, I found myself feeling a bit frightened, even somewhat hopeless - not because I thought God wasn’t able to intervene and handle the situation, but because I wondered if it was too late
This past Thursday we received the long-awaited update regarding Stan’s healing and progress. Prior to the follow-up, I found myself fantasizing about how I would deliver the good news to everyone. I imagined posting a picture of Stan holding up his Life Vest, with the caption, “Thank God Almighty He’s Free at Last!”
Please be assured that this vulnerable confession isn't some pathetic attempt to evoke sympathy. I don't feel sorry for myself in the least, and I would hope you don’t either. This really is a good thing.
Obviously, to say waiting has been a life-long struggle for me, is a grand understatement. It’s as if I’ve placed myself in the position of judge and jury, determining the speed and direction in which everyone or everything around me should move - even God Himself. When non-movement is the perceived response, judgmentalism can ensue, causing me to be frustrated with the world and God alike. Although I am sure there are “groups” for people like me, please tell me I’m not the only one!
“Oh great!” I thought, as I’d never considered intercession to be one of my spiritual gifts. “I’m too ADHD for that, God! You understand, don’t You?!” Up to that point, my prayer life most often consisted of brief moments taken whenever prayer happened to came to mind. Looking back, I believe I had almost taken a stance of apathy, as I convinced myself that I should leave the really serious battle-fighting prayers to those who had been given this gift.
As I’ve watched Stan navigate through feelings of shock, disbelief, fear, ownership, determination and execution in regards to a diagnosis and all that it entails, I’ve been nothing short of amazed at the man God has given me. Stan didn’t want this challenge, nor did he ask for it with bad habits and lack of self-care.
After 25 plus years of consistently reading God’s Word, it never ceases to amaze me how you can read a particular scripture countless times, only to have it resurface in a new and powerful light, impacting you with a truth that is not only encouraging, but can sometimes shake you to your core, causing you to do some drastic re-evaluation. Such an occurrence reinforces the truth that His Word is living and active, never diminishing, and ever empowering
I’ve heard it said, by Dr. Henry Cloud, no less, that there are three types of individuals - Wise, Foolish, and Evil. In pondering this concept, I’ve come to a few conclusions.
Recently I was a bit taken back when I came across Proverbs 27:8: “Like a bird that wanders from its nest, is a man who wanders from his place,” prompting the question…What is my place, Lord? What is my place when the terrain which normally seems so predictable, yet productive, looks completely different, causing me to scratch my head in bewilderment?
This past week, I’ve had moments of temptation in which I’ve wanted to abandon our plan of “leaning into the pain” and discovering the lessons, growth and deeper relationship that Christ has for us. There has been a time or two when I’ve want to take a very, very long nap (maybe lasting a couple days?) in an effort to escape the challenges.
As of late, whether it be on paper, computer, or spoken, I’ve had difficulty with finding the proper words. Articulate expression of my feelings and thoughts are lacking, especially when it comes to my conversations with God. My brain has seemingly ceased producing my ability to communicate. At times, I’m at a complete loss.
