How to Increase Your Self Awareness
“Well, what is it that you want, Cammie?” I had no idea. I mean, seriously, NO IDEA. I had found myself in conversation with a man I greatly respected and whom Stan and I considered to be a Spiritual Father, and I couldn’t even come up with a simple answer to a simple question. I think I remembered knowing a bit of what I wanted when I was a teenager. But now? Not so much.
I hadn’t asked myself what I wanted in life, my marriage, my pursuits, and as a woman in…well, maybe never. It seemed as if I had always piggy-backed on other people’s wants, needs and desires. As a good Christian wife and mother, isn’t that was I was supposed to do?
“I have no idea,” I responded. “I hadn’t thought about it.” To which Chuck said, “Well, it’s time you figure it out.”
You know those moments that change your life forever? This was definitely one of them. I had no idea how profound being asked this question would be and how it would propel me on a lifelong journey of self-discovery . All this from 4 little words… “What do you want?” Who’d have thought? (Not me, apparently!)
In retrospect, I now realize I was incredibly low in self-awareness, believing the lies that 1) I didn’t have time for self-awareness; 2) Self-awareness didn’t really matter; and 3) Isn’t self-awareness pretty selfish? Oh, how wrong I was!
Aristotle stated, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom,” fully supporting Scripture’s encouragement to “Examine yourself” (2 Cor. 13:5), “Understand our hearts” (Prov. 20:5), and to “Think with sober judgement” (Romans 12:3).
We cannot truly know God, without knowing ourselves, as we must know ourselves to fully embrace our need for God.
Self-awareness is proven to be the greatest and most powerful step in the growth of our souls. And it is Soul Work that enables us to live a whole, healthy, and authentic life. If our soul is underdeveloped, it can’t protect us from the cares and anxieties of life.
The problem is…most do not even have a true SENSE OF SELF, so we have no idea where to start. Just like me, when asked, “What do you want?”, we are unable to answer because we are out of touch with our true essence – our souls - which is easily done in our Western culture of accomplishments, pressures, comparison and hurriedness. My goodness, we wear over-commitment as a badge! We become strangers with those we need to know the most intimately – ourselves and God.
With this in mind, below you will find three easy steps to begin the journey of developing a healthy sense of self, get in touch with your soul, and begin to grow in self-awareness – Soul Work 101. Being intentional to practice these simple steps each day will certainly begin you on your journey to possessing a healthy soul.
1) PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS THAT NURTURE YOU (and do them!)– God made us all different. What nurtures me, may be draining for you, and vice versa. Often times, when we are busy in our harried-society, the first thing we do is drop that which fills our reservoir because we think we don’t have time. We cannot give what we do not possess, and if we don’t possess life, joy and wholeness, we certainly can’t pass it on. So what nurtures YOU? Not those around you – YOU! Is it reading, hiking, nature, great conversation, healthy relationships, biking? As a dear friend of mine recently said, “I believe God giggles when we are enjoying ourselves with what He created us to enjoy!”
2) STATE YOUR PREFERENCES DAILY– On one end of the spectrum this can seem to be a silly practice; on the other end, it’s frightening! Oftentimes, we are afraid to state our preferences when they differ from those of others. Why? Because we hate conflict and we don’t want to rock the boat! Stating your preferences both verbally to others, and mentally to yourself, will help to strengthen your sense of self – as YOU will be getting to know YOU more intimately. “I like this flavor of ice cream.” “I would rather see _______ movie.” Or “What you are doing is making me feel uncomfortable,” are game changers – as they affirm who we are as an individual and as a child of God.
3) PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR GIFTS…AND YOUR LIMITS - What are your talents and gifts? Are you using them? BUT ALSO…what are your limits? Are you surpassing them? There are all types of limits – time, energy, desire, resources, opportunity. Oftentimes limits are the result of our stage in life, physical issues, or even God’s timing. A good question to ask is,“Is this limit something that I’ve created, someone else has created for me, or is it a gift from God to help keep me balanced and healthy?” Remember -every good opportunity isn’t necessarily a GOD opportunity.
Taking the time and energy to become self-aware is a win, as knowing yourself and God more intimately will open up new doors for your soul and your destiny. It’s worth it – promise!
Thank you for reading and sharing! If you would like to know more about Soul Care, Self-Awareness, Shame Resilience, Coaching, or Spiritual Direction, please visit my website at wilsonccnc.com, and contact me today for a free consultation!
