Our Journey - What's Next?
Have you ever experienced a season in which you were obviously “in the zone”? Perhaps you’re in such a season now, confident that you are doing exactly what God made you to do. You feel fulfilled, effective, energized, and driven. You know you're making a difference, and it feels great! Work doesn’t seem like work at all, as you wake up each day with great expectation, knowing that God’s definitely in this thing. You even carry with you a sense of euphoria, because you know God is pleased, which in turn, pleases you.
I've experienced such seasons. They were nothing short of amazing! It felt as if I was on fire as I blazed the trail doing my bit for God’s Kingdom. However, of late, I've found myself a bit far from such a place, only able to see it from a distance. I've even found myself envious of those who I feel are making change - the movers and shakers - advancing God's Kingdom and assaulting the forces of hell, all while I sit on the sidelines, longing for the same to be true of me.
As I contemplate such questions as “Am I making a difference? What's next? Or what is my place?”, I've concluded that I am in a season of preparation, making it necessary to lay this ever-so-driven personality of mine aside for something better - transformation through loving union with Christ.
Please be assured that this vulnerable confession isn't some pathetic attempt to evoke sympathy. I don't feel sorry for myself in the least, and I would hope you don’t either. This really is a good thing. Stepping down from my ministry position in exchange for loving my family well during this year of extreme challenges has been a true honor and gift. I sincerely mean that. But in my ever ceasing attempt to be authentic, I have this need to pass along this state of affairs, as I have a slight “promoting” that maybe, just maybe, you either have, are, or will experience such a dilemma - wondering if the best really is yet to come, while fearing that it may have already passed.
In my quest for transformation through loving union with Christ, I am constantly reminded of the simple, yet profoundly misunderstood truth that we are human beings, rather than human doings. In an effort to gain further insight, I have concluded that although most may believe that they are loved, valuable and cherished just because they’re children of God, there is a great disconnect in understanding and living out these beautiful truths.
Reflecting back to a similar season ten years ago, I am reminded of those feelings of uncertainty, fear and frustration, when God clearly told me (while blow drying my hair, no less), "All you need to do is know Me more and love Me more.” As I recall this profound encounter, once again I am reminded that increased intimacy with Him, rather than discovering what is next, is the goal, transcending way beyond mere daily Bible reading, allowing Him to saturate every aspect of my life.
Peter Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (a must yearly read, BTW) is where I first heard this concept described as "loving union with God.” In his newer book The Emotionally Healthy Leader, he states “We may be sincere in saying, 'Lord, Lord.' ...We may know a lot about God in our heads. But none of these things matter if we remain 'unknown' by Christ. What matters is the genuine fruit that comes out of a deep and surrendered connection with Jesus. Bearing fruit requires slowing down enough to give Jesus direct access to every aspect of our lives… just because God has access to everything that is true about us does not mean God has access TO US. Loving union is an act of surrender.”
This provokes the question…is surrendering to true and authentic loving union with Christ the overwhelming beat of my heart, or is human acknowledgement of accomplishments and skills more important? Am I most desirous of God’s approval, or man’s? Am I willing to slow down enough to find contentment with Him and Him alone? Am I brave enough to allow Him to show me what needs to be seen, acknowledged, and transformed? And finally, can I courageously and authentically ask Him to make me more like Him, ridding myself of anything and everything that would get in the way?
This is the price I am determined to pay to get to the next level of loving God wholeheartedly, as life isn't about work, notoriety or accomplishments…it's about Him. Complete understanding, ownership and daily participation in loving union with God can result in nothing short of a miraculous, transformational, intimate relationship with Him, as well as those you encounter. This is the BEST that we believe will undoubtedly come.
As I conclude this post, I am preparing myself for the upcoming week and all it entails. Stan's truth-telling echocardiogram, doctor visits, faith-filled preparation for Stan's return to work, a mountain of insurance issues to navigate, bills to pay, and necessary communications, not to mention cleaning the house, books to be read, writing to be completed, grocery shopping, and doing a mountain of laundry, threaten to muddle my mind and make my heart race. Nevertheless, my greatest desire is for all of these items mentioned (and not mentioned) to pale in comparison to the pursuit of loving union with the Lover of my soul, my Abba Father.
As always, I invite you on this quest with me. But I would like to know, what are your ideas, thoughts, and even questions regarding making a loving union with Christ possible? I would love to hear from you, as it's always great to learn from one another!
Your love, messages, support and prayers are greatly appreciated! We are believing for good news this week. Stan's echocardiogram is Monday the 31st, but we won't have the results until Thursday the 3rd. We will certainly keep you posted!
Much love,
Cammie
