When Sadness Chases You through Christmas

Christmas carols are playing. Excitement is in the air.  Celebrations of Christ’s birth are on the schedule. Sugar is being consumed by the barrel, with neither regard nor restrictions. Family get-togethers are planned. Menus are being sorted. And could it possibly be that everyone seems a tad bit nicer?  Yes, Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of the year!

But not for everyone.

Christmas can hold thoughts, memories, and realities that are nothing short of painful. And as much as you attempt to join in the festivities, sadness and/or straight up depression can chase you through the season much like a lion in pursuit to devour his prey.  Running as fast as you can, you’re actually breathless and overwhelmed with the possibility of succumbing to the very beast you know has been defeated by the birth of the One you celebrate.

You can’t shake it, nor deny it.  You can’t seem to outrun or hide from it.  And the cherry on top is that you’re overwhelmed by guilt for being in such a situation.  Embarrassed even.

What will bring you back to a place of peace, joy…even delight in the very season that is the reason for your entire existence? I put these thoughts out there, not as one who has only viewed this predicament from afar, but from an authentic and transparent position of having walked the very path of which I speak.

If you know me well, you know that I love being happy.  And not only do I want to be happy, but I want everyone else around me to be happy, to the point of being borderline dysfunctional!  I especially love being happy at Christmas…however this all seemed to shift in 1989 when my dad, who was my biggest cheerleader, my wise adviser, the provider for most of my life, and the rock of our family, died on Christmas day, causing each Christmas since to be accompanied by a tad of sadness.

Now before you go all kamikaze on me and possibly develop an opinion of how I just need to “suck it up, Buttercup, and focus on Jesus, for goodness sakes!” please hear me out. This predicament doesn’t mean I typically suffer with depression, nor does it mean that I am lacking in my intimate life with Jesus Christ. It simply means that at times I feel like I’m running from sadness at Christmas. It's not constant. It's not always.  It's sometimes. Simple as that.

This particular subject of sadness during the Holidays has caught my attention recently. So I decided to take a somewhat scientific poll (okay, it was on Facebook), asking the question, “Are you ever sad or depressed at Christmas, and if so, is it attached to something?”

I was literally overwhelmed with responses, the most high-ranking being the struggle of celebrating Christmas without loved ones who have passed. The second most popular sadness culprit was children no longer being home, as either they live far away, have chosen to spend Christmas with someone else, or have straight up refused to spend Christmas with their parents. Other answers involved feelings of inadequacy, pressure to make everyone happy, dealing with family members who have addictions and/or suffer from mental illness, unrealistic expectations, being manipulated by family, being single and lonely or recently divorced, commercialism, and one honest person who said, “Yes (I feel sad). And I’m not sure why.”  Do you see yourself in any of these answers?

When being chased by a predator such as sadness, I am reminded of King David, in Psalm 42:1. This authentic and transparent passage was written when he was threatened to be overcome, not only by sadness, but by his own son who desired him dead, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” 

David must have known that there is only one circumstance in which a deer will pant – when being chased by a predator. During such a chase, his water content can be depleted up to 80%, thereby causing him to pant.  Upon escaping the predator, the deer will immediately and desperately seek out the only thing that will save him – water.

Like David, could it be that when we are panting, trying to outrun the predator of sadness during the Holidays, the only thing that will save us is water – the Living Water of Jesus Christ? 

Although we could certainly discuss this question all day, I’m going to keep it simple and focus on three important elements to outrunning sadness and immersing oneself in this Living Water:

1)      Admit that sadness is chasing you - identify and call out the predator.  Why? Sadness hates to be called out.  Sadness fears being named, identified, and described for what he is – an unwelcomed intruder, sent by the enemy of your soul.  Too often we fear calling sadness out, as either we are afraid what others may think, we are ashamed that we even struggle, or we’re afraid if we admit it, we’ll be overcome. But true power lies in calling him out for what he is – an unwanted entity, who needs to leave.

2)      Go to the stream where the water resides.  Where is this place?  It may be early in the morning in the quietness of your living room, outside in nature, in your car, or in the quietness of the night when everyone else is asleep.  Wherever and whenever it is, all that is required is consistency, time, honesty, a willingness to converse with and listen to God, and His Word (whether it be in written form or audible).  You have a stream. Find it.

3)      Praise, worship, then drink.  Praise and worship will propel and enable you to outrun your enemy. Having an intimate relationship with Jesus and praising Him doesn’t “just happen.”  It’s a journey that takes time, effort and practice.  Lots of it.  Simply speak, sing, write, or even color words of praise and acknowledgement to Him. Thank Him for who He is and what He’s done.  Praise Him for His blessings, as well as the hard lessons.  Just tell Him how much you love Him, being honest about your struggles along the way. Then drink from the love and empowerment and refreshment provided by the One who knows you best.

Now I know better than anyone that outrunning sadness isn’t as simple as 1, 2, 3.  However, I am convinced that sadness can pursue you, but it can’t overtake you…if you invite Jesus into the situation. You may disagree with me, but I believe sadness is actually a gift, as it allows you to seek Jesus in a way that you wouldn’t be able to otherwise.  

You still may be a sad at times, but that’s okay. Remember...this isn't your entire story...it's only a small piece of your story. And perhaps it will enable you to help someone else along the way. 

As always, thank you for reading and joining me on the journey to become a more authentic, transparent and wholehearted child of God.

Merry Christmas!

Cammie