Our Journey - Put Up or Shut Up

This week I experienced a moment in which doubt attempted to make its ugly way into my thoughts, stealing my peace, and changing my course on this journey of faith and transformation. I knew this was serious, as it would not only affect me, but Stan as well.   I immediately felt responsibility, tension, and struggle, as I was forced to become extremely honest, asking the questions…Do I really trust God like I claim?  Do I believe He has good in store for our future, finances, ministry, and hopes?  Do I really believe He’s a good God?

In retrospect, looking at not only this journey, but previous ones as well, I believe it’s easy to trust Him, making bold faith-filled claims in the beginning…but it becomes much more difficult when we’re knee-deep in the thick of it, whether it be sickness, unemployment, relationship issues, or other challenges.  During this time, there usually comes a pivotal moment wherein we are forced to decide whether or not we believe all this Jesus stuff.

It’s those days when you wake up in the morning and wonder when and if the breakthrough is EVER going to happen. It’s when someone asks you for the millionth time, “Have you found a job yet?” or “What are you going to do if you can’t find anything?” It’s when the doctor doesn’t give you the “all clear” sign, or when you allow yourself to go to that dark place of the worst case scenario.  It's then that you have to ask whether or not you believe all you claim is true.  In other words, you have to “Put Up or Shut Up.”

However, just this morning, I discovered I wasn’t the only one who had experienced such a dilemma, making me feel a bit less like a loser.  I was given hope and strength, erasing the self-condemnation that threatened to overwhelm me.  I found this hope from a great man of God, a priest, who led a group of Israelites from Baylon to Jerusalem.  His name was Ezra. 

During their journey back to Israel, Ezra proclaimed a fast at the River of Ahava for the purpose of humbling themselves before God, seeking “the right way for us and our little ones and all our possessions.”  It was at this point that Ezra honestly stated (8:23-24) “For I was ashamed to request of the king an escort of soldiers and horsemen to help us against the enemy on the road, because we had spoken to the king saying, ‘The hand of our God is upon all those for good who seek Him, but His power and wrath are against all those who forsake Him.’ So we fasted and entrusted our God for this, and He answered our prayer.”  

Ezra was faced with his own bold statements regarding the God he claimed to be mighty.  Would he continue to believe God would provide protection, or would he go back to the king and beg him for human protection?  Was he going to trust his God that he couldn’t see, or a visible earthly king? I imagine doubt was threatening him as well. Put Up or Shut Up was definitely the order of the day.

Just like Ezra, we all have that Put Up or Shut Up moment when we must step out in faith and declare that we believe what we’ve claimed about God all along…and it always seems to happen when we’re feeling scared, vulnerable, or questioning God about His delayed timing.  It’s when an earthly answer seems a bit more obtainable than an eternal promise, that these decisions must be made. Just like Ezra, we have to decide if we still believe.

We are quick to make such claims as “God is the Healer!  God is our Provider!  He will never leave or forsake us! Nothing is too difficult for Him!” – only to experience our humanity getting in the way.

I’ve been guilty.  I can recall times when praying for a specific job, position, or opportunity, that I boldly declared I had handed it over to God, only to take matters into my own hands, trying to move things along.  I’ve prayed for the right “moment” or the right words to speak, only to plow ahead, due to my own impatience. In hindsight, I realize these pathetic attempts not only dethroned God from His rightful place in my life, but resulted in my obtaining something that was much less than God’s best. 

I’ve realized, much like Ezra, that it’s at these times that we must fully step into those Put Up or Shut Up moments, dig in our heels, put our eyes on Jesus, fast, pray, humble ourselves, and seek Him with all of our being.  It’s when we seek Him first, that the answers will inevitably come and His power will be manifested. 

It did for Ezra. It will for us.

As always, thank you so much for your love and prayers!  We are continuing to settle into life in the Tarheel State, believing God for his timing, healing, and ministry, at just the right time.  Some days are easier than others, but we know that we are being prepared for the best that is yet to come. We love and appreciate you more than we could ever say!

Much love,

Cammie