Our Journey Continues - Rejecting the Blame Phase

It’s been a good week in the Wilson House, as each day we’ve found much for which to be thankful.  We are seeing a bit of progress each and every day, whether it be increased stamina and strength, better sleep, an encouraging doctor visit, good and faithful friends, or God ideas and dreams.  We are learning how to relax. We are discovering what “self-care” means and how it truly is one of the most unselfish of destinations, despite how it can be mistakenly perceived.  Most importantly, we are continuing to press into God, asking and discovering what we can learn, how we can grow, and how we can more intimately know Him through this process.  Our prayer each day is “God, I give you my heart.  Please give me yours.”

However, if I am completely honest, in the midst of all of this, we’ve continued to experience moments of finding ourselves baffled.  How in the world did we get here?  How is it that cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure became an issue for my vibrant, healthy, active, inspirational man of mine?  For goodness sake – Stan is only 56 years old! He possesses none of the typical risk factors – healthy weight (6 foot 1 inch, just over 200 pounds); no genetic history; great cholesterol; normal blood pressure; and never a smoker.  Even prior to this discovery we ate healthy - no fried foods, no gluten (that’s because of me), and extremely low fat everything.  All said – for these reasons and more, there have been times when we’ve had a difficult time figuring out what or who to blame – whether it be someone or something else, or even ourselves.

Then this week a possible culprit was confirmed. Without going into too much detail, our suspicions of a particular medication taken for over three years as being a very strong possible cause of this dilemma was solidified.  Good news is that Stan discontinued these meds just over eight weeks ago, and we have been told that by doing so, it is very possible that this in itself should help to reverse the damage quicker.  Partnered with the plan of spiritual, medical, physical and emotional care which we’ve chosen, this drastically improves the outcome. We are praising God for this discovery and his continued healing!

But with this new information, I realized that once again we have a choice to make.  Are we going to continue pressing into God, asking Him what we can learn from this challenge, or now that we have a possible culprit, are we going to allow ourselves to be distracted by focusing our energy on blame? Am I going to trust in myself by finding someone to blame, or am I going to trust in God? I am reminded of Psalm 20:7 - "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Trusting in Him, I am convinced, is the best option.

When tragedy befalls us, whether it be a broken down car, cancer, difficult relationships, heart disease, or any other obstacle, too often we get stuck in what I call the “Blame Phase.”  This begins when we believe we have properly identified the enemy – whether it be a person, situation, bad luck, or even Satan himself.  Although the identification of this instigator or source in isn’t itself bad, what happens next is what gets us off track.  We begin to spend our time, energy, frustration and anger looking to who or what we believe is to blame, while missing a grand opportunity to invite God into the situation and seek Him, allowing Him to grow, teach, and prepare us for our next assignment or phase in a way that only trials and tribulations can. 

Claiming that each trail is an “attack” can also deter us.  Although most, if not all, tragedy is a result of our living in a fallen world, spending so much time blaming Satan for our trials, chalking up each challenge as an attack, can cause us to get off track and miss the intimacy with Christ that can be attained.  In fact, if we think about it, rather than blaming the enemy, wouldn’t the most effective way to battle the enemy of our souls be to deepen our relationship with Christ?  I mean, seriously, that would royally tick him off!

God will never waste pain.  He will never negate our challenges, hurts, frustrations or fears. But we must remember that when we don’t trust Him with our pain – when we choose to remain in the Blame Phase, we cheat both ourselves and God out of the miraculous. We miss the opportunity to learn and grow in a way that would be impossible otherwise.  When we choose to stay in this pit, with great certainty, we can be assured that we will return again someday, as in the end, God will use whatever necessary to grow us in a way that only that only pain can.

So I made my choice – I will not allow blame to cause me to miss out on God.  I will not give my emotions, affections and attention to anyone or anything other than Him – as I don’t want to miss what He has for me.  This is my prayer for you as well.  May we bravely lean into the pain with all we’ve got – coming out the other side stronger, wiser, and more joy-filled.

Thank you for partnering with us on this journey!

Much love,
Cammie

Our Journey Continues - Finding Our Place

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