Don't Be Ugly
I promise this isn’t a political post, however, I would like to discuss something that came clearly into focus this past week. Regardless of where you stand politically, I think most of us can agree that both the response and behavior displayed over these past months, and especially this past week, is both troubling and destructive, to say the least. We live in a world that has become verbally abusive and vicious – violent even. Social media has made this dysfunction even more prevalent, offering us a “quick fix” of momentary satisfaction by slandering others in our desire to be heard.
This causes me to ask the question - what happened to “agreeing to disagree,” allowing one another the freedom to express a contrary opinion, without someone else hurling hurtful and downright abusive comments? Why are we seeing friendships literally destroyed right before our eyes, as insults are slung in contrast to previous professions of love? Or better yet, what happened to keeping our opinions to ourselves? Do we really have to react by voicing EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT that comes into our minds?
Could it be a matter of self-confidence? Think about it…when I (or you) am confident, secure and strong in our beliefs, do we not feel less threatened by someone else’s opinions, thus making the need to tear them limb-from-limb verbally, unnecessary? When we know what we believe and why we believe it, does that in itself not bring a security to our souls that is unable to be threated by others, negating the need to be hateful? Doesn’t self-confidence even result in an increased ability to be kind, resulting in increased patience?
A self-governing principle which I have placed in my life is that I never, ever have the right to be mean or rude to anyone. Ever. Why? Because meanness, or “ugliness,” as my MaMaw Little called it, never gives me the return that I think it will. Ugliness causes nothing but more ugliness. Period. If I have any chance of making a difference, correcting a wrong, or standing up for myself, the most effective and powerful means is to do it is with kindness and strength under-control. This also requires me to surrender any “right” I may feel to flip out on others, even if every ounce of me wants to do that very thing.
About 17 years ago while on a missions trip to the UK, we encountered a young eighteen year old man named Danny. Danny was lost spiritually - really lost. The last night of our two week trip, we held a concert of sorts in the crypt of a very old church. Danny sat in the very back with some of his friends, who mocked us the entire evening. At the end of the night, Stan got up and gave an invitation to the crowd to accept Christ, to which there was no response….except for Danny.
In speaking with one of our team members, Danny shared how he had tried everything and knew he needed Christ, because nothing else had worked. He wholeheartedly gave his heart to the Lord that night. His life completely changed. It was miraculous.
Fast forward, Danny ended up marrying one of our team members about 5 years later! He relocated to CA to set up house with his new wife, obtained a degree, and began teaching high school English in Malibu. (Wouldn’t it have been so cool to have a HS English teacher with an English accent!). Danny and Lisa now have two gorgeous boys and are serving the Lord in great ways.
London is a great melting pot, in which you can look in any direction and see many different people groups and religions. With this in mind, I once asked Danny, “With so many different religions available to you, what made you decide on Christianity?” I’ll never forgot his response. “Do you really want to know? Because it’s pretty simple. It’s because all of you were so nice. Really nice. And I could tell you meant it. It wasn’t fake.”
Romans 2:4 tells us it’s “God’s Kindness that leads us towards repentance.” Repentance is the act of changing, turning around, and going in a different direction. With this in mind, would not kindness in our speech, disagreements, tones, and actions be more effective in our desire to cause others to see things differently? Seriously...no one hears us when we're shouting!
Kindness doesn’t mean I have to agree. I can completely disagree while being loving and respectful. I can have a different perspective than someone else, and still value and respect them as a person…a child of God. I can be honorable of others who may see things differently. I don’t have to agree with the way others live, or even their opinions, but I can show charity. It’s all about confidence and strength under control, and it’s only possible because of Jesus.
Do I ever blow it? Absolutely, lol!!!! Just ask my husband! But that doesn’t give me an excuse to keep blowing it. Once, after a very emotional church meeting, my husband cautiously told me, “Cammie, please don’t take this the wrong way, but your passion often comes across as complete anger.” Ha! He had certainly nailed that one! It was at that moment that I recognized there was great work to be done…in me.
The only One who can help is Jesus, as when we allow Him to change, temper and mature us, we become confident in not only WHO we are, but WHOSE we are, and to WHOM we belong and represent. Without Jesus, we are completely helpless – in fact, completely out of control, not to mention, way too loud! I know I need Him and His help. I don't think I'm the only one.
We have a great opportunity before us, my friends. We have the chance to bring others to repentance by displaying the Lord’s kindness. No one’s asking you to deny your beliefs, or accept the beliefs of others. But rather, love others through the discussions, texts, Facebook and Instagram posts, and face-to-face discussion. Now is the time for us to display what confidence and strength under self-control looks like. It’s possible with Christ. Let’s choose to not be ugly.
