The One Word Answer to Our Differences

Recently, I was a bit taken back by the Facebook post of a former high school classmate (North Mecklenburg ‘83!). I believed it to be more profound than could be understood at first glance, causing me to mull it over for a couple of days. It made me want to have a conversation regarding the deeper meaning.  Some may have thought it was just simply sweet.  I thought it was more than that. 

Above a picture of two happy, handsome, middle-aged men were these words written by my friend, Bryan Pittman:

“30+ YEARS. CLASSMATE AND FRIEND. EL "BLUE" TEETER, WE MAY NOT AGREE POLITICALLY BUT WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE, AND AGREE TO MEET AGAIN.... THANKS FOR LUNCH!!!! VIKINGS '83”.

You may be thinking, “That’s nice.  But aren’t you making a bit much out of this?”

As someone who enjoys great discussion, looking beneath the surface, and seeking to discover beauty and power in the mundane, I don’t think I’m making too much of it at all.

Bryan and Blue met in the middle school. They ran track together in 9th and 10th grade. Blue played football. Bryan played basketball.  Blue is married.  Bryan is single.  Blue is white. Bryan is black.

Bryan’s friendliness and life-of-the-party attitude transcends even the confines of Facebook.  One day, after Bryan contributed a cheerful comment to one of my husband’s FB posts, he commented to me, “Who is this guy?  He sure is friendly!” He always has a huge smile on his face that, well, makes you want to smile back.

Blue, on the other hand, comes across as a tad more reserved. Although extremely kind and encouraging, he possesses what I call a bit of a Southern-man-don’t-mess-with-me type of humor. Like this past week when he posted a pic of his gorgeous wife in boots (which Blue later told me where HIS boots), making a comment about both her beauty AND her big feet.  That’s a brave man with some serious Southern humor.

But possibly one of the greatest differences between Bryan and Blue, especially given our “My way or the highway; either you wholeheartedly agree, or you’re dead to me,” type of culture,  is that of POLITICS.  One of them is Democrat and the other Republican.

These differences would be considered non-negotiable by many, resulting in the relationship being discarded or dismissed years ago. But Bryan and Blue decided to go another route, choosing a path of integrity, empathy, kindness and strength, all made possible by the power of GRACE.    

What is grace? The simple church or theological answer would be that grace is “unmerited favor.”  

But if I could expound on that – putting words to my personal life-experience and translating it into my own language, I would say grace is getting what I didn’t deserve - forgiveness, understanding, empathy, compassion and profound love.  I would say Grace is knowing I’m not loved IN SPITE of my uniqueness and differences, but BECAUSE of my uniqueness and differences. Grace is freedom. Grace is kindness. Grace is knowing I’m safe. If you are a grace-filled person, I know I can trust you with myself.

Once you’ve received grace, you are commissioned to give it. Both Bryan and Blue know how to do this because they have both profoundly experienced it in their own lives through the all-consuming, overwhelming, life-changing grace extended to them through relationship with Jesus Christ.  This experience enables them to experience the power of friendship and kindness. It enables them to be part of the solution and not contribute to the problem.

We are only able to effectively extend grace when we have experienced it ourselves. And Jesus, the epitome of grace, generously lavishes it upon us when we realize how desperately we are in need of it…and of Him.  This is grace in its purest form.

In 2 Corinthians 8:7, we are challenged, “But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you—see that you excel in this act of grace also.”

It doesn’t matter how smart, successful, right or “in the know” we believe we are; whether we believe “our truth” to be “the truth” or not, to be all these things without grace is to live a life of both emptiness and angst.  

If our differences could be peppered with just a bit of grace, imagine how our cultural climate would change. If we could be slow to speak and quick to listen, we could have REAL, SAFE conversations – truly listening and truly being heard. There would be less screaming and more talking, and as a result, we could actually hear what people are saying, and they could actually hear us in return.  We could have amazing discussions laying out our differences without fear of rejection, hatred or attack.  

Bryan and Blue – thank you for modeling maturity, integrity, kindness and consideration.  Thank you for being grown-ups.  Thank you showing us how looking beneath the surface to find a kindred spirit is always worth it.  Thank you for showing us what grace looks like.  Thank you for “excelling in the act of grace”.  

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments! Thank you for reading and sharing! Cammie