Detrimental Leadership Mistake - Overlooking the Quiet Ones
We’re getting it wrong when it comes to identifying leaders...or for that matter, finding one to follow. Not all the time…but a lot of the time. When are we going to learn that it’s not about the good looks or showiness? It’s not about the charisma, pedigree, loudness or shininess of the package. We’re failing to look beyond the outer presentation, investigate, dig deep, and use God-given discernment to discover the true depth and health of those we desire to elevate to leadership. We’re failing to discover if they possess integrity, character, and resolve – the true inner being of a leader. It doesn't matter what they're like in public, as much as it matters what they're like in private.
Don’t we owe it to those who will ultimately be under their watch, to discover if they’re even capable of leading without bringing destruction and pain?
I’m not throwing stones here. Promise! But it seems that time and time again, we immediately halt when we find the loudest, brightest, seemingly most obvious choice. “God is so good! They’re amazing! They’re a magnet! They’re an incredible recruiter and a born leader! They are so stinking attractive! They are just what we need!” I’ve both heard it and said it.
We’re failing to slow down and take the time necessary for God to reveal His annointed. While looking for glitz and glamour, we’re missing the ones with self-control, self-discipline and patience. We’re overlooking those confident enough to wait on God for His answer, instead of concocting their own temporal solution, which inevitably fails and causes great chaos. We allow those who are faith-filled, full of integrity, and honorable of both God and others to pass by. We’re missing the ones who are healthy and whole – life givers, and not life-takers. We’re being charmed by charisma, when its root is extreme narcissism.
If we’re honest, we would probably all admit that we’ve dismissed some incredible leaders just because they don’t fit the “Abercrombie and Fitch” definition of beautiful leadership. In making this mistake, I’ve learned a few things:
1) Leadership and talent are two completely different animals.
Someone can be the best in their field, and at the same time, be incredibly destructive to those around them. Giftedness can often mask a lack of leadership ability and skill. Someone can be a great spokesperson, yet a horrible communicator. They can be seemingly confident, yet incredibly insecure. Talent and giftedness does not…I repeat DOES NOT…equate leadership. When we put these people in leadership, they can cause great harm to others.
2) It’s God’s job to grow, not mine.
Too often we omit God from the picture. We forget that it is God who grows, and not a person. We humanize the task set before us, “Grow and multiply your teams!” and omit God from the picture, discounting the need for His direction and anointing. It’s then that we look for that person to “fix it.” It’s God’s anointing, favor, and timing that grows our teams – not man’s.
3) Don’t mistake nice, self-controlled, and quiet for passive, non-driven, and weak.
This mistake has come at a great cost! The truth is, it’s often the quiet, nice, and self-controlled who have the strongest backbone and character. True strength is power under self-control. True strength is not loud voices, raised fists and driven maniacs. Those who seem to “make it happen no matter what,” most often leave causalities in their wake. In contrast, it’s the quiet ones who can ultimately get you there the fastest, without destruction and chaos.
4) When identifying leaders, think with a heavenly mindset.
When Samuel was looking for the future king, paraded in front of him were young men full of life, personality, talents, looks, and abilities. However, Samuel had the wisdom, discernment, and self-control to look beyond the surface and into the soul of a young, ruddy shepherd boy named David who would later be described as one of the greatest leaders of all times - a man after God's heart. We can't just look at the outside. We must think with a heavenly mindset.
5) Slow down and ask the hard questions.
Too often we’re in such a hurry to move ahead or get the position filled, that we don’t stop long enough to ask the hard questions. In fact, we convince ourselves that it isn’t necessary. Could the truth be that we may just be a tad afraid of what the answer may be? ASK THE DIFFICULT QUESTIONS! “Tell me your story. How did you come to Christ? How much are you in the Word? What is your worship time like? How do you feel about the Sabbath? What parameters have you placed around yourself, your marriage, your work, your personal life, to ensure you will not fall into sin? Tell me about your marriage. Tell me about your failures. To whom are you accountable and who do you have in your life continually asking you the hard questions? How is your emotional health? What practices do you have in place to maintain your emotional health?” It’s worth the time!
THE SEEMINGLY OBVIOUS MAY NOT BE THE DIVINELY CHOSEN.
As someone who has been identified as an “off the chart D”, I submit to you the concept that many of us have been guilty of discarding God’s anointing for humanistic talent and ability - looking for the flashy and driven, as opposed to the possibly quiet and anointed. By doing so, we short-cut God’s power and logic for our own theories and suppositions. We discount Who God is, and what He has in mind, for what we think is best.
The good news is…this can all change as we submit our predetermined plans to Him, ask the difficult questions, take the time necessary, keep our eyes open, and ask for the wisdom and discernment that can only come from Him, ultimately enabling and equipping us to find that “perfect” leader.
