A Most Serious Prayer...

Have you ever been afraid to pray certain prayers?  For instance, "God, please give me more patience."  That one's a killer! Earlier this Summer, more like late Spring, I came across a portion of scripture that I am sure most of us have read dozens of times, Psalm 51:10-12, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit with me.  Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  This desperate plea was made by King David, after the prophet, Nathan, confronted him about the sin (adultery) he had committed with Bathsheba.

Obviously, King David knew he had sinned greatly, not only in the form of adultery, but with the murder of Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, in an effort to conceal his own sin.  Surely David's heart must have been incredibly heavy, causing the confrontation with Nathan to ultimately bring great relief. Confession and repentance of these sins paved the way for intimate relationship to be restored between he and God, as he exposed himself before the Lord, asking to be changed, renewed and restored. Although, quite honestly, the legalistic side of me wants to smack David upside the head,  I consider him to be incredibly brave as he humbled and exposed himself, making himself completely vulnerable, asking God to "create in him a pure heart," exposing the ugliness within him.

So as I read this scripture, for perhaps the hundredth or so time, I asked myself...am I brave enough to pray this prayer?  I mean REALLY, HONESTLY, AUTHENTICALLY pray this prayer? Asking God to gut me like a fish - laying it all out there for Him, me, and even possibly others, to see?  Taking the chance that He might just ask me to change or give up something that I really don't want to give up? Completely trusting Him with my vulnerability?

After much contemplation, I decided to go for it.  This became my daily, sometimes hourly, prayer. During the next few months, God took me down a path or inner-reflection, exposure, evaluation, humility and repentance.  He revealed things to me that I needed to stop, change, re-do, and even run away from.  Most of these "items" may not have seemed serious to most, and quite honestly, periodically caused me to respond with, "Really, God?  You're going to ask me to give up that? Does it really matter that much?"  But all of these "items" had one thing in common...for me personally, they were hindering my relationship with God, preventing it from being as intimate as both He and I desired it to be.

One day at work, during a conversation with a gentleman who I believe to be extremely wise, this subject came up - asking God to dig deep and take away anything that caused distance between us.  He told me that he and his wife had been going through something quite similar.  He went on to describe conversations he had experienced with two different individuals, who did not know one another, but who were both extremely wise and prophetic.  Both of these men described a similar experience in which God desired His people/church to be willing to endure exposure and correction.  Why?  Because it would be extremely necessary for the days ahead; that we would be required to walk in greater freedom, strength and deeper relationship with Him, in order to come out victorious,   This unhindered intimacy would be key in our walking through the future strong, capable and prepared.  This intimacy is what often described as "patient endurance" throughout the New Testament.

I continue to pray this prayer - sometimes daily, sometimes hourly.  Trust me, there's still MUCH work that needs to be done! Sometimes I feel courageous and brave, other times I do not.  I continue to hear, listen and ultimately obey Him, as He creates in me this pure heart.  Some days it's hard. In fact, it can be excruciating. But more days than not, it's extremely liberating.  Some days this prayer brings great anticipation, and other days, I'm asking myself, "Do I really want to do this again?"  But all days...it's good, intimate, encouraging and inspiring, as I know the end result...the removal of any and all obstacles that keep me from Him.

So my question is this?  What if we were all brave enough to pray this prayer? What would happen?  How different would we be?  How would our lives look? How would we love, serve, honor and lead others?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.  I want to hear about your journey as well, as we walk this road together.

Thank you for reading!