Faith Isn't a Formula - It's Messy and Real
As a family, we recently found ourselves in the midst of a challenge of gigantic proportions – no need to worry, my marriage and our family are good – promise. However, just after midnight on New Years Day we were hit with something we didn’t ask for, dream of, deserve, or even consider, resulting in a very dramatic entry into 2017. In a matter of minutes, our world changed from one of peace, calm and order, to fear, anger, frustration, anxiety and uncertainty. Our best laid plans drastically and immediately evolved into questions, challenges, manipulating schedules, and managing emotions. Our hearts have been hurting as we do our best to navigate the challenges set before us.
I’ve found myself praying and seeking God with newfound intensity, as we are desperate for Him – all of Him. Although I am in His Word every day, I’m scouring it with a new determination, quietly screaming, “God show me! Give us hope! Tell me it’s all going to be okay!”
I HATE being in the dark and not knowing the outcome. I can normally deal with just about any situation, as long as I know the depth and the length, as this helps me plan and pace, giving me some semblance of control. But this current challenge isn’t affording such luxury. “We will have to wait and see,” seems to be the recurring phrase. Miracles need to take place and justice isn’t guaranteed.
OR IS IT?
This week as I was reading the story of Abraham being asked by God to sacrifice his son, Isaac, I was taken back as never before. But before I go any further, please allow me to just say…I’ve always felt bad for poor little Isaac. I’ve always wondered if he ever received counseling for this ordeal. If not, he certainly should have. Talk about a reason for Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder!
But this time as I read, I noticed something new. As Abraham was preparing to sacrifice his son, “He (Abraham) said to his servants, ‘Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. WE will worship and then WE will come back to you.’” Did he say “We”? How would that have been possible, seeing that God had asked Isaac to sacrifice his son? How could both of them be returning?
He then begins the journey with Isaac, wood and fire in tow, to perform THE sacrifice. Isaac finally speaks up, asking his father, “Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Little man was wising up by this point, don’t you think?! Nevertheless, Abraham assuredly calmly responds, “God Himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering.”
Abraham’s confidence and faith in God seems supernatural. It appears that he absolutely KNEW that in the end, God would provide the sacrifice. Did he know it would be something other than his son? Did he know exactly how it was going to play out? Did he ever have moments of doubt?
In the midst of what seems to be an impossible challenge, have you ever compared your faith, or lack thereof, to that of Abraham? I know I have. In fact, I’ve found myself trying my best to pray, believe and say all the right “faith” things – striving to be 100% positive, afraid that if my “faith deficiency” wins out, everything will come crashing down around me.
We first see evidence of Abraham’s faith in Genesis 15:5, when he received the promise that despite his old age, Sarah would give birth to a son. Regardless of nature dictating otherwise, “Abram believed the Lord and He credited it to Him as righteousness,” proving that Abram knew that the God he served could make the impossible possible.
But I’ve come to realize…Abraham’s faith wasn’t perfect. It was often lacking. Abraham waivered when he was afraid that he would be harmed because of Sarah’s beauty, causing him to declare, “She is my sister,” displaying a lack of faith in God’s protection. He also agreed to Sarah’s plan of obtaining an heir through her maidservant, showing his lack of faith in God keeping His promises. This was despite his believing God whole heartedly when the promise was first given.
Abraham wasn’t perfect. He was human. He was flawed. He struggled to believe at times. He questioned and doubted. He manipulated and showed impatience. This causes me to ask the question …if we possessed the ability to always have perfect faith - never doubting, questioning, wavering, fearing or hesitating – would it really be faith at all?
Faith isn’t easy. There is no perfect faith. Most often, faith is downright hard. Faith requires stepping above reality, even if we are flat-out scared, confused and questioning how the heck God is going to take care of this mess – sometimes a hundred times a day. Faith is choosing to believe God, despite the voice in our heads that keeps saying,
What if….
He doesn’t come through?
He wants me to suffer?
He isn’t paying attention?
Man really can harm me?
He chooses not to heal, restore, redeem, provide, etc.?
He’s punishing me?
The greatest ingredient to strong faith is HONESTY – truthfully admitting “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24). Faith is being authentic and honest with ourselves and God, constantly communicating with him, whether or not we feel strong. When we’re doing it right, faith is real and raw. Faith is constantly asking God to help us believe, inviting Him into the situation and trying not to “will” it to happen in our own strength. Faith isn’t perfect. Faith can even be messy. Mine certainly is.
God doesn’t want us to beat ourselves up or even feel pressured to have perfect faith. There is no perfect faith. If there was, we wouldn’t need Him. He wants us to be honest with Him regarding the struggle, challenges and the mess. He wants us to admit when we need help with our faith, thereby declaring that we are in desperate need Him. He doesn’t want us to compare and He doesn’t want us to strive. He just wants…US.
My faith is far from perfect, but my God is perfect. He’s a good, good Father whose power isn’t dependent upon our being flawless, but rather desires to work the miraculous in the midst of our mess and imperfect faith. So lighten up on yourself when it comes to faith, being willing to say, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief,” and watch Him do His very best work.
