Tell Me What to Do...but DON'T Tell Me What To Do!
Hands down, one of the greatest feel-good movies of all time is “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” If you’ve never seen it – rent it. And if you rent it – watch it with family or friends who like to laugh. When Stan and I saw it in the theaters in 2002 (can it really be that long ago?!) we were taken back by not only how much we loved it, but by the reaction of the audience. There was great laughter, excitement, and even shouts of “Opa!” (Which I’ve learned, BTW, means “You go!” as in “You, go, girl!").
One of my favorite characters in the movie is Aunt Voula. She’s funny, opinionated, outrageous, a go-getter, and quite honestly, I believe, my Greek equivilent. Typical of her character, there’s a scene in which she is part of a scheme to trick the main character’s dad into allowing her to attend community college (as he believed Greek women didn’t need education, but just needed to get married and have Greek babies!). As Aunt Voula, her sister-in-law and the daughter are coming up with a plan, she makes the bold statement, “Tell me what to do…but DON’T tell me what to do!” Love it! Unfortunately, that’s SOOOOO me, as I love knowing what to do, but I don’t want to do it because I’ve been TOLD to do it. I want it to be MY idea! I think a lot of us are like that when it comes to living out the Christian Life.
About 20 years ago, I decided to go see a Christian counselor, because I knew I needed help. I was trying to be all things to all people, and I was failing miserably. Frustrated, exhausted and insecure, I had no sooner sat down, before I said, “I know what’s wrong with me. I just need you to tell me how to fix it.” An hour or so later, after confessions, tears, and getting honest, I left with a virtual toolbox containing exactly what I needed to fix “it”, along with instructions of how to get “it” done. I was both hopeful and frustrated, as I knew the ball was now in my court. I had a choice to make. I was actually the one in control at this point and I was going to have to do some hard work. God wasn’t going to “zap” me with change or blessings, but rather I was going to have to take responsibility bringing them about.
We LOVE the promises of God’s Word, don’t we? We love to hear about how good He is, how much He loves us, and the blessings He has in store for us. The thing is, we often miss out on all that stuff because we neglect to take into account our part of the deal in obtaining all of the good stuff. Then we wonder why we aren't being blessed! As I discovered 20 years ago, we have a say in whether or not we’re going to do what He says, making the Good Life, with all of it's promises and blessings, possible.
For instance, in Mark 11:24-25, we are told that “…whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” We love that part! But what we often don’t take into account is that this promise is followed up by a condition….a responsibility… “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins.” Aghhhhhh! You mean, my receiving forgiveness, the very thing that I am so desperate for, is dependent upon my forgiving the horrible sins of others against me?! And furthermore, this may even prevent my prayers from being answered? There’s a condition attached to all of this?!
Then there’s the Lord’s Prayer… “Forgive our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us.” There’s no escaping it…we have a part to play in our forgiveness. We also see it when Moses lays out the blessings and curses in the Book of Deuteronomy. “If you do this…you’ll be blessed. On the other hand, if you do this…you’ll be cursed.” Even though this seems pretty clear-cut, what amazes me is how many of us expect to be blessed, while doing the exact opposite of what Scripture tells us is required.
A few years back, in the period of one month, I seperately counseled 4 different women, all in their 20’s, who came to me with the same problem… “I don’t hear God anymore. I feel like He’s left me.” They had no idea why. Humm....there was a common thread here. After much listening and asking some hard questions, I discovered that each of these ladies had the same problem…they were sleeping with men with whom they were not married. They hadn’t made the connection that the reason they weren’t hearing or feeling God’s presence, was because they were being straight-up disobedient, actually building a wall between them and God. They were actually preventing God from blessing them.
This is what I call The Principle of Outcome, which actually empowers me (us) to have some control in determining what the outcome will, or will not, be. Want to live the Good Life? This requires our having a heart that says “Tell me what to do,” without adding our warped rebellious endnote of “But don’t tell me what to do!” It involves our desiring to do what God tells us to do without any conditions, tweaks, resentment or rebellion. For the outcome to be good, we must determine: 1) Am I willing to discover what it is that He wants me to do in order to fulfill the promise or blessing?; and 2) Am I actually going to do it with an obedient and pure heart?
I am convinced that this is what’s keeping us from the Good Life. We can’t be blessed if we don’t do our part! As I sometimes tell myself when I need to do something that I don’t necessarily want to do… “SUCK IT UP, Buttercup!” meaning that even if I don’t want to do it, I’m going to suck it up and do it anyway. Why? Because it’s what’s good and right, and it’s what God is telling me to do. Oh, and I want to live the Good Life.
If we do our part to obtain the Good Life, as plainly determined in Scripture, we will be literally overwhelmed with blessings and fulfilled promises. Doors will be unlocked. Dreams will be realized. Provision will be made. And we will hear and sense God as we never have before. It’s possible. The ball is in our courts. All we need to do is ask, “God, tell me what to do…and I’ll do it." No conditions attached.
