Teach Us to Number Our Days Aright

Do you ever feel like you have a million things coming at you from a million different directions? You’re that gerbil on a wheel going round and round, faster and faster, and for the life of you, you can’t figure out how to get off.  I woke up that way this morning – a bit panicked; a bit tired, and a small piece of me wondering how in the world I was going to straighten all of this out.  Between work, church, home, friends, family, aging parents and a 15 year old dog named Lucy who needs our assistance to stand up, there’s just a bit too much to do.  And don’t even tell me how many weeks until Thanksgiving or Christmas!  Seriously – I automatically translate that into the number of paydays, which causes my insides to flip out, my mind to race, and yes, my toes to tingle. Ugh!

Now my husband and I don’t argue very often, not like in the beginning days of our marriage, for sure.  After being married for almost 33 years, we often joke that we’re just too tired to fight!  But seriously, I think it’s that we’ve just figured each other out.  We’ve learned that it’s easier to give grace and pick your battles. Nevertheless, a few nights ago we were both in the kitchen after a long day at work, and I began going through our calendar, reciting to him all the commitments we had for the upcoming week, while giving myself a pat on the back for arranging, rearranging, and scheduling it all so well.  Looking back, I think he must have thought I had lost my mind.  I had taken away almost all of our margins in an attempt to make everything work and avoid disappointing anyone.  Then before I knew it, our voices started escalating and we were in the midst of a heated discussion about consulting with each other before commitments are made. Oh. My. Goodness! Nevertheless, we continued on for a few minutes until he finally said, “I can’t believe we’re arguing about this!  This is messed up!”  After choking down a giggle, I thought…you know what? THIS IS MESSED UP!  For real!  So I did what I normally do when I’m overwhelmed.  I apologized, closed up my calendar, and vowed that I would figure it all out on Monday morning.  Which brings me back to my condition when I woke up today.  What’s a girl to do?

I’m definitely not a morning person.  So after drinking my usual two cups of coffee, which turns me into something resembling a human, and spending time in God’s Word, as well as journaling, which turns me into more of a human, I decided to go for a walk.  As I trudged around our block on this hot Tampa-kind-of day, the Lord brought to mind Psalm 90:12: “Teach me to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  I love that verse.  It gives me immediate peace.  Just acknowledging to God that I am in need of His guidance to show me how to arrange my schedule reminds me that I don’t have to figure it out on my own.  I can ask Him to show me what to do and He will empower me to make the decisions that I need to make.  He will walk with me through it.

I once heard it said that our calendars should be less about where we have to BE and more about who we want to BECOME.  When I remember to use this principle as a plumb-line, I am equipped to make better decisions.  Is it important for me to become more Christ-like each and every day? Then I need to make time for His Word, Prayer and contemplation.  Do I want to be a loving and kind wife? Then I need to make time for my husband, giving him my undivided attention.  Do I want to be a caring friend?  Then I need to make time to take my friend who just had an operation a meal.  I’m not going to be or become who I want to be, if I don’t intentionally make room for it on my calendar.

So how do you add that and still make it all work? That’s where I need God’s wisdom, guidance and straight-up courage.  He needs to show me what I need to cut, how I need to arrange, and how I can make it all work. And in the process, I need to humble myself, give myself a break, and declare that I am not always capable of getting it all done and that I cannot be all things to all people.  I know that the kind of confidence that can only come from the Holy Spirit. Without Him, it's impossible. 

So, as a friend, I would like to ask you…how is your calendar?  Is it a blessing or a curse? Are you trying to be all things to all people?  If so, give yourself a break and confidently decide that this is impossible.  You may have to disappoint some people along the way, and they may not understand.  But know what?  They’ll get over it.  Then consider asking God to teach you to number your days aright, so that you can gain a heart of wisdom.  Give your calendar to Him.  He’s the only one who can really straighten it out. He’ll give you the wisdom and the courage to do what you need to do.  And finally, would you also consider looking at your calendar differently – focusing on who you want to become, and less on where you have to be?  Make time for growth.  It doesn’t just happen.  Intentionality is never an option.

I know it’s hard.  Trust me, this is a HUGE struggle of mine and I am definitely in process. But I believe if we can submit to God every part of our lives, including our calendars, He can give us a peace that will transcend anything we can attempt to conjure up on our own. It’s the only way.

 Thanks for reading!  Much love!

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