Seriously, He's Not Disappointed in You
Each Wednesday at our church, we have what is called “Wednesday Noon Prayer and Praise,” during which approximately 70-150 individuals take a mid-day break to gather in our NexGen Center to worship, hear a short teaching about prayer or spiritual warfare, then live it out by practically praying for loved ones, our church, our nation, and sometimes even ourselves. It’s both an exciting and refreshing time, as we give to and receive from the Lord.
During one particular gathering, approximately one year ago, our Senior Pastor spoke of the concept of our personal view of our Heavenly Father being molded and shaped by what we have experienced with our earthly father. Probably, like you, I’ve both heard and read this viewpoint many times. He went on to expound on the thought of being unable to believe that you are loved or even loveable; being afraid of experiencing abandonment; and struggling in relating to our Heavenly Father as we would a real person. He invited our pastoral staff to come forward to pray with those who desired healing. As both Stan and I prayed with others, we heard story after story of misshapen views of God due to an earthly father not being emotionally engaged, abusive, controlled by an addiction, or not even present. There were a few who hadn’t ever even met their father.
While this was going on, I remember thinking, “I know you love me God. I’ve never had an issue in this area of my relationship with You.” Although my earthly father wasn’t perfect, He was reliable, honest, present, loving and personal. I never feared that he would leave us. I knew he loved my mother, brothers, sister and me. He wasn’t abusive, nor was he mean-spirited. Once again, although he wasn’t perfect, he was a really good dad. Whether or not my view of God loving me was molded from my experience, I don’t believe I’ve ever really struggled with the thought that God loves me.
However, as soon as I had completed this thought, I clearly heard God respond by saying, “But you do think I’m constantly disappointed in you.” Ouch! My goodness, He had nailed it! He had looked deep within my heart and soul to reveal something that I had failed to recognize in my times of inner-reflection. I had never thought about my personal experiences of wanting to constantly please my dad being transferred over to the way I want God to be pleased. What was I supposed to do with this? How could I believe that God not only loves me, but ACCEPTS me, whether or not I “tow the line” or perform well?
Immediately I decided to begin a journey of deepening my honesty level – admitting to both God and myself when insecure or false feelings of disappointing Him played through my mind or settled in my gut. I upped my admission of desperately needing Him to continually renew my mind, enabling me to grasp the fact that He loves me and accepts me no matter what I do or do not do – that my value isn’t placed on my performance or success. I asked Him to increase my self-awareness of when I am slipping into this lie, then giving me the courage and the wisdom to reject that lie for the truth – that I am not a disappointment; He made me on purpose; He’s isn’t disgusted when I fail, royally mess up, or sin. He isn’t going to “pull me out of the game” or punish me because I haven’t done things perfectly, giving Him good cause to just be done with me. He even delights in my mistakes, as it’s an opportunity for Him to produce growth and strength in me. He may not care for certain things that I do – and He may even be disappointed in a particular choice – but He’s not disappointed in me…or you.
When my boys were growing up and they messed up…I mean REALLY messed up…of course I experienced disappointment in their choice(s), but they were NOT a disappointment to me. They never have been and they never will be. Perhaps your parents, or a significant authority figure in your past, even told you that you were a disappointment. Can you please hear me when I say…God doesn’t feel that way. He really doesn’t. He’s not disappointed in you. You haven’t messed up so much and become so imperfect that He’s unable to redeem, restore or even use you for mighty and great things. In fact, the Word tell us that He created our “inmost being.” He knows our propensity to sin so much better than we ever will. He sees our struggles. He witnesses every mess-up and failure. Most importantly, He sees us as He created us – His children that He loves. He doesn’t “count our sins against us” (2 Corinthians 5).
Brennan Manning described God in his classic book The Ragamuffin Gospel, as follows:
“He is not moody or capricious; He knows no seasons of change. He has a single relentless stance toward us: He loves us. He is the only God man has ever heard of who loves sinners. False gods—the gods of human manufacturing—despise sinners, but the Father of Jesus loves all, no matter what they do. But of course, this is almost too incredible for us to accept.”
Whether we accept it or not, it’s true. There is nothing we can or cannot do that will make Him love us more or less. There simply isn’t. He loves us. He created us to love us. He’s a good, good Father, and we’re loved by Him. Seriously, He’s not disappointed in us. Remember that…and walk with your head held high, knowing that He knows you and He loves you! God isn’t looking for our perfection, but rather, something even better – living out who He created us to be.
Loads of love to you! Thanks for reading!
