Awkward Prayers Can Be the Best Prayers

Recently, after praying with a dear friend regarding difficulties in her marriage, I had no sooner said the word, “Amen,” then she replied, “I wish I could pray like that.”  Really?  I was surprised to hear this, as I felt I had fumbled through the entire prayer, never finding the right words, ultimately limiting my ability to take the proper requests to our Father.  On the contrary, I would have guessed that she would have thought my poor attempt at partnering with her in prayer was pretty pathetic, even embarrassing -  especially for a pastor.  This exchange caused me to wonder – how many prayers have we never prayed due to insecurity, fear, or lack of experience?  How many wars have not been won?  How many captives have not been released?  How many relationships have not entered a deeper level of intimacy, all because we feel too awkward or disqualified to partner with someone and go before our Father by praying out loud?

Years ago, while living and pastoring with my husband in Southern California, a small group of ladies would meet each Tuesday morning at our church to pray for about an hour and a half.  We would cover items regarding the church, our nation, and whatever else was on our hearts.  I am pretty sure I was the most inept person there – the one with the least experience, qualifications and expertise.  It didn’t matter that I co-pastored the church with my husband.  I felt awkward. I felt incapable, and I felt, quite honestly, like a bit of bumbling idiot at times. Each week I looked forward to this time with a mixture of both excitement and dread, as I enjoyed spending time with these amazing ladies, but I dreaded being put on the spot to pray, as I felt my prayers would, nor could, ever compare with theirs.  It could be downright embarrassing.

However, there were two ladies in this group – Darlene Stilly and Priscilla Hogan – who graciously extended encouragement and love to me, giving me the courage and determination to not quit.  Each of these women not only exemplified elegance, maturity and kindness, but their prayers, to me at least, seemed perfect, convincing me that God heard them much better than He heard me. Without fail, I would find myself lost in the perfection of their prayers, which seemed to literally dance as they made their way to God.  Neither ever overplayed their hand in going on and on in their requests, using many words, as some seem to do when they pray.  On the contrary, their ability to articulate their heart, as well as their needs and requests, seemed to embody perfect clarity.

Each week I would find myself not only listening to their words, but entranced by their tone and lyrical movement, as well as intensity.  I felt as if I was in school, and God was giving me an upfront seat in the classroom.  Although they never knew that I had elevated them to the position of mentor, they were exactly that. They were the teachers. I was the student. Our times together were precious, beautiful and instructional.

Some ten years later, I look back on these priceless encounters extremely grateful for the gift given to me by God in the form of Darlene and Priscilla.  Yes, my comfort and ability to pray increased, but more importantly, I learned to be thankful for the awkwardness with which I prayed at times, as I discovered it wasn’t about the beauty of my words, but the intent of my heart.

Today there are times when I feel the words of my prayers flow – divinely hitting the target for which they are intended. But if I am to be completely honest, there are also times, like when I prayed for my sweet friend, that I feel like an awkward twelve year old – intimidated, scared and fumbling around, desperately seeking verbiage that will even slightly resemble the type of prayer that someone of my age and experience should be able to pray. 

Nevertheless, whether I feel confident or ill-equipped, the greatest lesson that I’ve learned is this – I’m supposed to pray. We all are. It’s not so much about the ebb and flow, or the elegance of it all, but about the heart. I know that I would much rather have someone awkwardly pray for me who has a humble, contrite and caring heart, than an individual who loves to hear themselves talk, using their time in the spotlight, so to speak, to seemingly make an impression to those who are around.

We all wish we could pray just the right words, but regardless, awkward prayers can be the best prayers. With this in mind, I would challenge all of us, including myself, to step out and pray out loud, whether we are “experienced” or not, simply speaking our hearts, partnering with others and their needs, to take them to the Father – not being afraid of praying awkwardly, but embracing this precious opportunity. It’s the most loving thing we can do.  Relationships are strengthened, hearts are connected, wars are fought, and freedom is released.  The intimacy of our relationship with Jesus increases immensely.  It’s miraculous and it’s heart-changing and world-changing.  And it all comes in the form of what can seemingly be a most awkward prayer.

So to all my “awkward prayer warriors” out there – be brave!  You’re part of my tribe and I love you!

Thanks for reading! I'm looking forward to hearing great things!